Flying Solo

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I'm not planning on going solo ~

WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO
WHAM!
[MAKE IT BIG]


Today is an extremely lousy day for me. Though I've already cleared my bowels this morning at work, I still feel extremely bloated and fiery in my stomach. And my eyes too. Puffy, red, teary, and the lids are absolutely skinless now. Not pretty.

I was talking to Mira about shopping and I suddenly feel very demoralized. I have that 'wardrobe malfunction' feeling coming back to haunt me again like it did in secondary school. I so want to throw away all the clothes in my wardrobe and get me some new clothes, new bags and shoes. Then again, even if I do buy them, when can I get to wear them? Only on miserable weekends.

Ok. Actually going to work really gives me a reason to dress up everyday. But thing is, there's no point dressing up around my office. In fact, dressing up may even be courting trouble for myself, especially the environment I'm working at. I don't look down on the foreign workers but they do give me the creeps at times. I don't even feel safe peeing. *gasps*


I might end up becoming like this hor, Britney Ariel Mira Spears Bte Roslee? Hahaha!

So when I finally want to dress up for work, and just accept the fact that I'll be a rape victim at my workplace, things start happening. I got this eye irritation, and I can't put make-up on my face. Not even mascara. So yes, every morning I'd look like a dead zombie which didn't bathe, and my eyes look like I didn't sleep for days because they're so puffy around my lids. And when I do put mascara, they would smudge everywhere around my eyes thanks to the tears and discharge from my eyes.

And my acne problem is coming back again. :(
I haven't had facial for about 2 months, and initially I thought they were fine. But now, they're all popping out like popcorns and I really am so demoralized from it. Looking horrible with my goldfish eyes is bad enough and now I have skin problems again. So yah, I can't put on make-up. If I could buy anything in the world, I'd buy me complexion and a pair of long legs. I'd be happy.

I've been sleeping early since I started work, and I've been drinking so much water. Like now, I'm having my 4th bottle of plain water. SO WHY THE HELL IS MY COMPLEXION NOT IMPROVING?! I don't take oily food, and I try to refrain from them as much as I possibly can. Arh...

I'm gon go see the doctor tonight to get some hormone pills (again) for my face. Life.

Maybe I should be blessed with things that I already have than to whine about things that I don't have. So what do I have?! Ok lah. Non-chinese eyes and a nice set of teeth. Guess that's the only thing I'm proud of, of my features.

One thing I should do now, is really lead a stress-free life. Honestly speaking, I don't think my life is that stress. I could well say that I'm leaving a metal (not silver yet) spoon life right now. I don't have family problems, and I have a complete loving family. Together with people I'd call girlfriends and people I'd be proud to call my soulmates. I even have Thosai friends. My parents let me party and club, I don't have religions that stop me from enjoying my life to the fullest. I have a diploma, and my parents are willing to lend me money if I'm broke.

I have a laptop, an iPod, and even a rabbit. I have a shelter over my head. Somewhere I can call home. I have a job that requires me to answer phonecalls and then bum around. So what's so stressful? Haha.

I guess its the recent break-up with Hamdi. I do want to get back together with him. At times, I do feel the tingly sensation with him. But then, I'd refrain myself from it, because I don't know if I be using him that way. He's too nice of a guy to be under my clutches. (:

Yet on the other hand, the person that I crave my attention for isn't calling me from his camp. Mimi loves his ex, I know that.


So its pretty pointless hanging on to this guy. We did get intimate (no no, not that far), but still. I guess its still the feelings that count.

Am chatting with Mira now, and its the first time I ever typed so much when talking to her. It feels as if I'm trying to brainwash her, but everyone knows its impossible to brainwash the princess. Its only Tuesday and I'm already bored + tired. Not a very good sign.

I'll have to wait for my pay to make myself smile again. Yes, I must go for facial. Goodness me, my face. :(

Had Thosai (finally) with Mr Singh and Mira. Though we had to walk really far inside, but I think its worth it. I had 2 pieces of Masala Thosai. Fucking filling, after which, I only shit this morning. :D
But I was pretty upset they're weren't spicy enough for my liking. Yah, I'm a Spice Girl.

There're so many things I want to blog about. But they're all in a mess. I've got to organize my thoughts before I could continue blogging. Mira and I were talking about our ego problems just now.

Then I realize that I've got almost everything but ego. Haha! I'm ego-less. Not the best thing in the world. I just let people step all over me I guess. Maybe that's why Hamdi dumped me the first time.

MILLIONAIRE
ANDRE 3000 FEAT. KELIS
[TASTY]

by pammie! at 2:09 PM |