Damn… I woke up this morning with a super stiff neck. I can’t turn my head to the right, nor bend it down nor anything at all! Like what Kak Eishah said, I’m like a porcelain wind-up doll today. You know, super fragile. How the hell am I going to withstand this for the rest of the day, having nothing to do either. Goodness. My neck and back hurts… Suddenly I thought of this super cheap song by an unknown female artiste, Khia. I bet the Mats and Minahs are familiar with this song.
”My neck, my back Lick my pussy, and my crack”
HAHAHA! I think I’ll be permanently paralyzed.
So there’s all the hoo-ha about Michael’s death. I heard so many rumors, of him being ’silenced’, drugs and pills. Ok, that’s not a lot. But to me, that’s already quite a bit of news to catch up on. I rarely read the papers, but over the weekend, I found myself turning the pages of the newspapers and Strait Times to catch up with Michael’s latest updates. It’s a pity he’s only remembered throughout the world after his death.
Wee Kiong was telling me that he felt that his friends were like hypocrites. A couple of days back, they were ridiculing Michael and his many surgeries to his face, together with his court cases and lewd assaults. And then when Michael’s gone, they all seem like angels suddenly, mourning for the death of the late legend. I have to admit, I’m one of those hypocrites.
But for sure, I’m not one of those who is joining millions of others around the world to mourn for his death, just because the other 999,999 people are mourning for him. I missed his tributes on MTV, but I guess I’ll be able to watch it on YouTube tonight. His tribute, like Elvis and The Beatles, should not be missed. Especially when I grew up on his music. I really love Man In The Mirror. Wow… Something strike me that made me want to do a tribute for him.
I’m so affected by this whole Michael Jackson passed away thing. And what touched me the most is the celebrity statements made. I’d dare to say at least 80% of the American-African society is inspired by Michael, be it R&B (Usher) or Pop (Chris Brown), even Hip-Hop (50 cent), when Michael don’t even rap! It is obvious how powerful his influence is even at his deathbed.
Watched Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen on Wednesday, its official debut in Singapore. I’m not disappointed. However, I still think Transformers 1 is nicer, cos’ its fresher. Like, I’m simply in awe at how Bumble-Bee transformed, and the sound effects, superb. I was super excited when Optimus Prime and gang came down as comets. I never get bored watching it 54385034593 times over and over again.
Part 2 was still, better than what I’ve expected it to be though. But I got really pissed off when Bumble-Bee didn’t die. Because I actually read off a comment from YouTube that Bumble-Bee is going to die in that movie. So throughout the movie, I was pacing for myself to prepare at the time the beautiful Chevrolet is going to die, telling myself that I’m not going to cry. At the end of the day, Optimus Prime was the one who died, but eventually got revived. Ok lah, it was my fault for reading those stupid unreliable spoilers in the first place. My bad, my bad…
But still, the action was there. One thing left me confused was that everything was in a fast blur. All the transformers were given a short introduction each, and *BOOM* comes the next transformer, and the process just continues, with breaks of humor (Shia) and sex appeal (Megan) in between. They’re like adverts.
There was even one point in the movie where I got so lost I couldn’t even differentiate the Autobots from the Decepticons. The only one way I could separate them was from the colors. Autobots were very colorful. Decepticons were a cool; boring mix of silver and gray (looking a lot like scrap metals; actually they all are scrap metals), and fearsome features.
Ok. Enough of Transformers.
Next stop, Ice Age 3 01 July 2009
Then, Harry Potter: The Half-Blood Prince 16 July 2009
Finally, Overheard 30 July09
Actually, I want to catch The Taking of Pelham 123. But I keep finding excuses to skip it. John Travolta and Denzel Washington leh. Hollywood heavyweights. Yet I’m not watching their movie?! I must be stupid.
Going to get Pulp Fiction from Wee Kiong soon, so I can watch it from my iPod.
These days, I’ve been like a mad movie buff. I remember when I was in secondary school, Trevor and I would try to catch as many movies as we possibly could. There was even this point of time, where we would watch till there was nothing to watch, like literally. We were actually looking at the movie slots at Plaza Singapura’s GV, and looking for 1 movie that we haven’t watch. YEA… It was that exaggerating. The scariest fact was we watched 88 movies during our ‘O’ Levels year, including of repetitive watching. 88, very nice number. But I didn’t get very nice numbers for my ‘O’ Levels, for sure. :(
I’ll be taking half-day later. My neck is just an excuse to leave. Moreover, I have another half-day to clear, so yea. And I can predict that my pay for this month’s going to be pathetic. Like totally. No money ar NO MONEY AR! Who wants to make a kind donation to me?
Talking about donations, there was this charity soccer thing that was held on the 28 June 2009 at Tampines stadium or something like. I didn’t know about it until my colleagues were talking about it. It was $10 per ticket, and you could watch our local celebrities play soccer, and all of the above fundings will go to this little 4 years old girl, who is diagnosed with a really rare cancer, and she needs all the money she could have to go to the USA for treatment. I wanted to go, but none of my friends replied me, and I slowly forgot about it as well. So much for wanting to have a kind heart. Tsk.
Had my facial yesterday, and my goodness. My face is swollen as usual after every facial session. Pain leh. But its ok. All for the cause of better complexion. I’ve pumped in so much money on my skin, I hope its really going well.
Headed down to Ikea after that with my family to look for cupboards and shelves for my brother. At the same time, I need inspirations on my dressing table. I’m a girl yet I have no dressing table. What the hell? I really want to have a revamp for my room. I’m happy with the color of my walls so that’s fine. But the furniture?! I’m tempted to throw everything away everytime I take a walk around Ikea. The power of Ikea’s displays, I must say.
Eh. I’ve already blogged a lot. I got to save some for the next day, or I’d have nothing to do again. :D
Today, is a very normal day. 26 June 2009. I was supposed to go for a BBQ which I didn't attend, due to some stupid reasons regarding Nizar and his girlfriend. Jing Ting's boyfriend just came back from Dubai. I'll be having my hair treatment with my daddy today after work. I'd be meeting Hamdi before I meet my dad, cos I took half day.
Everything was supposedly, going pretty smooth. Well, at least that's what I thought last night.
So this morning, I was putting on my make-up ready for work. When I heard some commotion in the kitchen between daddy and mummy. I heard the "dead" word in Hokkien. So as political as my daddy is, I was expecting someone else to pass away instead. Like really some big shots, probably someone from our goverment sector or something.
The next thing I know, my dad walked into my room and said this,
Girl ar... Daddy got the latest news this morning from Starhub. An SMS was sent to me. Michael Jackson passed away last night."
Funny was, my first reaction was, "Orh." I just couldn't digest that fact until a few minutes later, when I was walking to catch my bus. That's when I got on the bus, and I sent SMS to close friends, telling them about the passing on of The Legend.
I'm very very affected and sad. Yes, I may ridicule him all the time. I make fun of him. But when it comes to terms with music, he is a legend. Whenever I see his name, as a featured artiste, as a producer, writer, whatsoever. I know damn, that song's gon' be damn good as hell. And I'm never disappointed.
And when I was on the bus, Class 95 played his song, Black & White. I know I'm not a huge fan of him, and it'd be exagerating if I cried. But yea, hell I felt like crying. He's a legend. And it came as a huge shock for me to find out he has passed away due to a cardio problem.
So when my office played his song, Heal The World, I almost cried again.
Michael, if you ever do get to read this, I don't know how. Please, bare in mind, that you'll always be in hearts of ours. Though we ridicule you often, you know well what you are. You're a legend. A legend at its best. Your tribute will be great, and I'm sure many tears will be shed. Rest In Peace. Like a empty void in the heart, you'll be the empty void in the music industry. We love you, Michael.
P.S.: No more surgeries in the nether world ok? :)
Oh. Wee Kiong and I have just made a pact. To visit his grave in 10 years time. I will, and I want to. If I ever travel to the United States one day, he'll be a grave I would want to visit. :)
Rest in peace, may God bless you always. Long live the legend, Michael Jackson.
LUCKY JASON MRAZ FEAT. COLBIE CAILAT [WE SING, WE DANCE, WE STEAL THINGS]
It’s a natural instinct isn’t it, when you hear your favourite song, you’d turn up the volume a little. What’s weird is, you’d turn up the volume when it isn’t your favourite song, but a song that brings you memories.
I wish I could just go somewhere and kneel down to cry now. The next thing I know, I just replayed the song, right from the beginning. Tears are already welling up. I feel like an auctioned item. Going once… Going twice… And I’m gone.
My body feels feverish. But every time this song plays, there’s this nice fuzzy feeling that goes from my head all the way to my toes. It isn’t my favourite song. But when memories come along with it, it naturally changes the course of this song.
My vision is blurring, from the tears in my eyes. My colleagues are chatting noisily around me. I just want to hide away and find a hole to cry. I wish for an angel to get me out of the hole. Tell me that I’m safe in his arms; tell me that he’ll make things easier for me when life gets hard.
My temperature’s rising. My fingers turn cold. I don’t know what to say. There’s this wound in my heart that I refuse to stitch. I’d rather let it infest with memories that won’t do me any good. It hurts so much, but I keep forgetting. Forgetting how to forget.
Every time, I think about it, my head aches. My heart cries. And my eyes water. But when I force myself not to think about it, it gets worse. And at night, they all come back at once to haunt me. My pillows are already wet from my tears. Its only the second night. I don’t have a lot of pillows to see through the many other nights I’m going to have.
Why does it hurt me so…?
What is it about her that I am not…?
When did we, fall apart? Why did you lie right from the start? When you said its only you… I was blind, such a fool Thinking we were unbreakable…
It was you and me… Against the world… And you promise me forever more Was it something that I said? Was it something that I did? Cos’ I gotta know What made me unbeautiful?
My cough seems to be getting worse. :( Strange thing was, I only contracted this ‘cough’ after I took those cough pills prescribed by my doctor when at that point of time, I wasn’t having any cough! Weird…
It’s 0910AM now. I wonder how long I could blog to sustain me for the whole of the afternoon. Or at least until 11AM, then I could call JT, ‘cos that’s when that stupid bitch would wake up.
Blogging on Words is boring. I couldn’t add pictures… Making my blog SOOO boring. I have so many pictures taken at the Jurong Bird Park that I wanted to post up yesterday, but couldn’t. And tonight, I’d be having tuition. So I wouldn’t have the time to upload the pictures again. What a bunch of excuses. :D
On second thoughts, I’m wondering if I should be giving Manfred tuition too. Since I’m still sick, I really don’t know yet if whatever I’m down with is contagious. What if… I had H1N1?! Seriously, the thought of being quarantined doesn’t scare me. In fact, it sounds surprisingly fun. HAHA! Since I’m alone now anyways, its no difference from being quarantined. :)
Yesterday was easy to pass. I spent the whole afternoon chatting with JT over the phone. Laughing at practically nothing. At least I felt happy for a while. Then the both of us were planning on what to do, how to gather everyone from our secondary school. Ok, actually just our long lost clique of friends. We miss them so much. It was more or less like detective work. The only lead that we had was Nizar. So I took over the job of bugging him for Shaik’s number. I was so freaking happy when Shaik replied me. I mean, I miss him the most man!
Shaik was kind of like an older brother to us way back in secondary school. Though he was mean to us, he never forgotten us, and he always took time to include us into whatever he has organized. We love him.
Alright, so much for detective work eh.
So we end up deciding to meet up tomorrow night under Shaik’s void deck. And we’ll talk and drink and shout and scream and laugh and smoke like mats and minahs. HAHA! Nah… JT and I don’t smoke. But for the rest of the above, we wouldn’t say no. Drink Ice Lemon Tea lah that is.
Know what? Suddenly I thought of something insane. First, when I saw Ice Lemon Tee, I thought of Mira. Then Aqilah. Then Minahs. Hm… All of a sudden I feel like getting a tattoo for myself. I DON’T KNOW WHY! Maybe I could tattoo Pokka green tea on my arm? Mira can have Seasons’ Ice Lemon Tea and Aqilah, the fiercest. Red Bull.
WAHHH….!
Let’s have some fun This beat is sick I wanna take a ride on your Disco Stick
If I were at home, I’d be dancing, I’m telling you. Talking about dancing, I want to talk about my first clubbing experience at St. James last Monday. Okok… I hear some commotion…
”WAH LAU EH… SIBEH LOSER LEH! FERS TIME NIA!?” ”Oh my god… Slut. Confirm grind all the mats there one lor.” (Contributed by JT) ”Huh? Really ar?” ”LOLLL! So how?”
KAOPEI LAH! ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP! I actually had fun, and I did not end up having sex or one night stands with anyone, and no, I didn’t grind any ugly guys or got myself groped whatsoever.
But what the hell… I could hardly breathe when I was down there. Not that I want to say I’m really tiny, but EVERYONE ELSE IS TOWERING OVER ME! I was shoved in every possible way I could. People would just walk to a point where they could no longer walk, and then just stay there and dance. HAHAHA! I can’t walk, I can’t move. Initially when I was queuing out there, I saw tons of girls in heels and pumps, I felt so underdressed. I was duh, wearing sneakers. But when it was the partying time, I felt like a genius. It was so easy to walk, run, jump, do whatever you want. At the end of the day, nobody cares if you’re wearing Jimmy Choos or NTUC Extra shoes at the end of the day, as long as you can dance.
And the night before I went clubbing, my mom asked me if I had enough money. And I said I’m only bringing $20. She laughed as if she went clubbing before. That woman… Then I realized why she laughed! Cheebye… One miserable glass of Green Tea cost me $10. I’m never going clubbing again, unless I have free tickets.
Ok lah ok lah. Cheapskate lah.
But eh. I really adore the dancing part. Part of the reason why I wanted to go to the underage party is because I wanted to see the Bengs/Lians/Mats/Minahs. TOTALLY! TOTALLY WHAT I EXPECTED! >:D
Dyed my mom’s hair for her last night. Kept myself occupied all throughout the rest of the night, some things are best not to think. Oh! Last night was funny. My auntie actually bought this mask for $90 ++ for me. NO, NOT HALLOWEEN MASK! Its from Taiwan, and she claims that it will help in my facial condition. I’ve already tried even hormone pills, so nothing’s too scary for me. So I was expecting like a flimsy, white, wet, reusable cloth. Skali… It was a pink thick thick cloth with sponge underneath and an opening for your eyes and nose. ITS SOOO CUTE! I’ll take a picture of it and put it up soon. And it had this purple elastic lacey band on the mask to be put over the head. Hahahahahaha! It really is damn cute. I was to put it on at night only, before I sleep, or when I’m using the computer whatever. So I put it on after my bath, and my mom and I rolled on the floor laughing.
Seriously, I looked so kuku know! I had a hair-band over my head, then I had the thick pink oriental patterned mask on my face, with glasses over the mask. Like Pink Ranger gone wrong. HAHAHAHA!
I can’t stand looking at my face for more than 5 seconds without laughing.
But after a while, I couldn’t breathe already. Gosh. It was hot and suffocating underneath that mask. So I just took pills and went to sleep. That’s why when Aqilah and Mira spoke to me on MSN, I didn’t know at all, until I woke up at around 12 midnight to switch off my computer. Hamdi spoke to me too. Asking me about my fever and all. I told him I was going to switch off my laptop. Since he told me he reads my blog,
I have no more fever. Hope this answers.
Tomorrow night, Daryl and his band will be having a gig. I’m sorry to say that I wouldn’t be able to make it. I’m sorry. But I think I have reasons strong enough to back me up for not going. But still, I hope everything turns out fine this time, Daryl! I’ll be waiting to hear from you how you guys rocked the halls! RAWK BOTTOM! \_/ \_/
I think I’m going to have my haircut this Saturday at Glenn’s place. Argh, I hate going over to his place. Its so difficult to locate! And so far from my house too. But I hate going other places for my haircut too. I think my hair’s losing shape… And I want to have it cut shorter this time. Was thinking of having my hair dyed, but I guess not. No mood eh?
I don’t know what to blog about already.
People asked if I’m ok. Yea, I’m fine. Thanks for the concern, though you’re the one whom I was hoping would show me the concern I need. Still, thanks for at least brightening my day to show that there’s still people who do care for me. I should appreciate what I have and not think about what I don’t have. No wonder I’m sad. For a few days, I promise myself. That’s all I need, and have. I can’t grieve over something that’s been long dead, for as long as I could. It wouldn’t come back.
Ohhh… It feels great to be back at work. I’ve been on leave for 1 and a half day since Monday, and now surprisingly, it feels nice to be back at work. Though I’m already blogging at 1035AM. It truly shows the amount of work for me to finish. Moreover, all my work has to be ‘returned’ to my colleague already, since the ‘project’ has finished, and temporary staffs are kind of no longer needed.
There goes hope of my contract being extended as well. :(
So I’ve been sick for the past few days since Saturday. THANKS TO ZHONG JING TING. Saturday was supposedly a beautiful, rain-when-it-supposed-to-rain, shine-when-its-supposed-to-shine day. I had a pair of free tickets to Jurong Bird Park so JT joined me, since I don’t really have anyone to ask along. It was fun. We taken so many pictures, made fun of whatever species of birds we possibly could, cook up captions for the penguins and made ourselves look like fools. Been years since I went out with her like this.
Oh yah! I met my cousin, Emu (Yi-Mu)! Could hardly contain any excitment when Yi Mun met Yi-Mu.
After which, the both of us went to Marina Square for dinner, at Seoul Garden. Tried to drag Trev along, but he was ill. Funny thing, there was this bunch of Caucasians seated beside us. Probably a group of 8 or more, I didn’t count, cos I was farmished. The both of us were completely oblivious to them until we realized that they were staring at us. Seriously, STARING WITH THEIR ALREADY BIG EYES! Our plates lah… We took food meant for the whole Roman army. :D
We would have stared too if we were the Caucasians. But we’re hungry what…
Then we took a little walk down Esplanade all the way back to Clarke Quay. On the way, I met a super good-looking mat, and I even took a photo with him with my arms around his arms, and in my opinion, what I think is a sexy pose. HAHA! And while CS is away in the army, JT hooked up with an English gentleman as well. That slut. Oh yea, I was imparted Kung-Fu skills from a Shi-Fu I met down the street, in this era too, complete with the pigtails.
Oh. At the end of the day, only did I find out that JT was ill? No wonder I went home feeling sick too.
Its hilarious when I came back from work this morning. Every one asked me how I was. I’m actually fine, but I’ve lost 3/4 of my voice. So whenever I tried my best to reply them, they’d say… “Aiyo… Poor thing…” Hahahahaha. Like seriously, is that for real?! But its ok. I learnt this important lesson from the office. Practice selective listening. Only listen for the best. Ignore everything else that comes your way. Criticism falls under good things, though I refuse to listen to them at times too. Who likes it?!
For the past 2 days, JT has been around to perk me up and take care of me. Especially yesterday. She accompanied me to the polyclinic, and I was frightened to death. Won’t go into details. Still, I won’t completely ignore what I think is going to happen. I’m all alone now, but I know I still have a friend I could rely on when I need her. :)
Spent the whole afternoon at my place, playing Hospital Tycoon. Its ironic how 2 sick people can be so happy in the same room, playing Hospital Tycoon. Hahahaha! I guess that’s what friends are for. If only Trev was around, then we’d have 3 sick people in the room. How cute is that!
I called it off once and for all on my relationship with Hamdi yesterday. He couldn’t keep his promises to me, I couldn’t keep giving him chances as well. I needed to go on. He has already moved on, yet I am still stranded here. But it won’t be long before I catch up with him and be ahead of him. That’s my goal now. :)
Don’t cry because its over, laugh because it happened.
Laughing at myself for being such a fool. I gave him whatever I possibly thought I could. I tried my best. Maybe I used the wrong approach, I shouldn’t have told him that my love for him was fading. He took everything word-for-word literally. It takes two hand to clap. He’s not entirely at fault, but neither am I entirely correct.
The first wrong step made by the both of us was ever to be together. That’s why we’re facing this now. Since the start, I was never what Hamdi ever wanted. Racial, looks, size, character, attitude…
I thought I could change, and I really thought I did. I thought wrong. I was still sensitive, defensive, sarcastic, temperamental, and crazy. Its funny how he could even bear with my nonsense for this long. But I don’t understand why that would give him a reason to lie to me.
Hamdi said he went out with his soccer friends on a Thursday night. On a Suinday night, I found out that him going out with his soccer friends for bowling never existed. He went out with his BE friends to celebrate some of their birthdays. He didn’t tell me because he knew I’d be unhappy. Fine… I won’t deny that I wouldn’t! And for that, I wouldn’t pursue that any further. But I never understood why he lied to me. Couldn’t he have just talked to me about it? I believe I’m still quite a nice person underneath, but was never unearthed.
Then comes the next bomb. He was flirting openly behind my back with another girl by the name of Shafinaz. No, not behind my back. Right under my very nose. No wonder I couldn’t see it. (Try putting your finger under your nose and see if you could see your finger) She was introduced by his good friend, Yazid. No wonder he didn’t want to tell me who recommended her to him. (See the way I put it, she’s like a call-girl) Because I hate Yazid now. I admit, I’m on the verge of learning voodoo now.
I’ve never said Yazid was fat. I’ve never said Hyatt’s lips needed a liposuction. I’ve never said Sito was annoying. I’ve never said Ball was sickening. I’ve never said Muzzy is a Mat, at least not in his face.
No wonder, Hamdi never liked me talking to Sadi. Cos he was the only nice one to me. The rest of them has a problem with me because they think I’m taking their friend for granted and that he should move on. First of all, I don’t even know you guys well, why are you all taking him away from me? I hope they’re happy now, because Hamdi has well moved ahead before I had the time to find out and bawl my intestines out. I only bawled my intestines out after they flirted for days. He probably even bedded her. Come on, sue me.
And then there’s Syayie, Aqilah’s sister. I rest my case on this. I think the name itself already spells a disaster. On Sunday, RDP had their busking at Tampines. I tried calling Hamdi in the afternoon, but he didn’t pick up. I knew he was heading there. So I didn’t raise any hope in getting back a call from him. But what I did raise was the alarm.
Just a random question to anyone, would you add your boy/girlfriend’s rival’s siblings on FaceBook? Remember, just a question. No puns intended.
So on Monday, my A/O claimed that my face looked like a swollen balloon when I went to work. So he gave me time-off to see the doctor and go home to take a rest. I think I’ve grown fat lah, not that I have a bloated face. But its ok, everything’s going to go back to normal or better than normal. Normal in my own way; my own rules.
Hamdi gave me a surprise by appearing at my place. He wanted to talk. Fine. I was willing to give him another chance. Explanations were given, chances were given, promises were made, pinky fingers were hooked, dinner was nice though my temperature that day rose from a 37.5 to a whooping 38.1 Ok lah, not too high. He promised me he’d delete that horrible virus called FaceBook.
The next day, Tuesday, I was well having my rest. I went to the polyclinic with JT to check up on some stuffs. Was freaking out down there, while Hamdi was freaking around in school. Note: I did not say with whom. He said friends, but then again, if he could lie 1000 times, he could lie for the 1001th time. His replies to me were crappy, saying he did not know what to say. He’s right… I was going too hard on him. So I didn’t call him nor SMS him till the afternoon when he was going to have his UT.
Only at night, before I was about to knock off but I decided to check if he’d delete his FaceBook account, as promised. I am not his mother or anything, but my instincts just told me to look at it. I jumped when I realized when no, he did not deactivate it. I jumped and hit the ceiling this time, when I realized that his call-girl whom was introduced by Pimp Yazid, well they were still exchanging pretty little comments about their pets. Soon, Hamdi will be showing off his pretty little pet bird to her, and her maybe her little pussy, CAT. No puns intended.
I called him immediately, crying like a pig. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to disembody her, and dump her bits and pieces in places like Geylang and Joo Chiat, and maybe Little India too. But I’m a pussy. Those are just thoughts.
I know Hamdi’s angry and really fed up with me for talking with Bud Young. Alright, that’s my fault. I was lonely and bored. I thought of chatting up with some other guys. For that, I’m sincerely sorry. I did you wrong. I told you I’d delete him from my FaceBook, block and delete him off my MSN, but I didn’t. Again, that’s my fault. You have every right to curse and swear at me and call me a liar. Though I didn’t mean to lie, I still am one, cos I broke my promise to you.
But after you ‘reminded’ me, I immediately removed BY from whatever means of communication I possibly could. I could even swear on my life that I’ve only spoke to him once. After we quarreled, I had absolutely no conversations with him. Now why am I explaining myself? Because I want you to know, that I love you.
But you, you told me you love me. Does loving me includes lying to me? You said you’d delete your facebook, you’d stop contacting Shafinaz. Even if you didn’t delete your facebook, I’d be just as happy if you stopped contacting her. You were mine.
The last time I felt like this I don’t even know when. Because as much as you hate to hear Nizar’s name over and over again, I was never his, nor was he ever mine. I never really lost him. But you definitely cut me up worse than he did. In fact, he just left me there to rot, he didn’t cut me. My feelings for him died, my feelings for you were murdered.
I am damn bloody hurt, you know that?
From the bottom of my broken heart, Even though time may find me somebody new You were my real love I never knew love Till there was you
Never look back, we say How was I to know, …
Suddenly there’re so many things in my life that I’ve got to get used to. Just to keep myself occupied. This Saturday, 20Jun09, … I promised myself I’ll only cry for a few days. Maybe get into the mode of depression for a while too, so I’d lose weight. And when I get my desirable weight, maybe I’ll go back to normal.
GOLD DIGGER KANYE WEST FEAT. JAMIE FOXX [GRADUATION]
